Determine if you really are in love or just infatuated. Before you commit to telling him that that you love him get a grip on your true feelings.
Can you see yourself with him for years to come? Picture how life would be with him 30 or 40 years from now. Can you picture yourself taking care of him or still being attracted to him even when you are both old and grey?
Have you suddenly become overwhelmed with feelings or has your adoration grown over time? Typically infatuation is something that comes on suddenly, whereas true love builds over time.
Give your relationship a full evaluation. You need to determine if your man can withstand the “L” word so give your relationship a full check up.
How long have you been together? While it may take only a week to fall in love, in most cases love develops over months or years. Consider holding off if you only started dating a few weeks ago---if you love him today, most likely you’ll love him a few months from now.
What type of relationship do you have? Is it more like a three year booty call or have you been there for each other through thick and thin. Be honest with yourself in order to properly assess the situation.
Has he dropped any hints? Has he said to you that he never wants marriage or kids or has he mentioned that he’s considering a job in another country. Don’t let love blind you to certain facts or cues that he may not be around for the long haul.
See if he can live without you. Without playing mind games you may want to see how much your man likes/loves you without having to say the words.
Be busy. Give him some room to explore other avenues like work retreats or more time with his family (not other women). If you typically get together every night after work, take a night or two off and let him see what his evening is like without you. Even if he finds ways to spend his time away from you, he may see that evenings away pale in comparison.
Suggest he see his friends more often. Give him his space by encouraging him to spend time with friends. Not only will promoting friendships help him see why he loves being with you, you’ll look like the good guy for being supportive of his friendships.
Leave the door open. While you don’t want to break up with him to see if he comes back, don’t be clingy either. Allow him to leave or make independent decisions in his own time and his own way. The old adage, “If you love something let it free. If it comes back it is truly yours” is true.
Let him know how you feel without telling him you love him. You can get him used to the thought that you love him by showing him instead.
Be present during good and bad times. While it’s easy to be supportive during happy times, you can really show your love when he’s down in the dumps. Whether he’s had a bad day at work or is dealing with a family health crisis, be his rock and show him you are on his side 24/7.
Support his passions and dreams. From going for a master’s degree to his love of mountain climbing, be his cheerleader. Find ways to make his passions your passions…research his hobbies or goals and bring additional insight to the table.
Make his best interest a priority. If taking a job in another state or quitting his job to open a new business will make him happy, be on his side and support his new venture.
Tell him that you love him when the moment is right. Choosing the right time to deliver the big “I love you” is vital to pulling this off. After being with this guy for some time you should have an idea when he is most receptive to new ideas.
During a discussion about your relationship. If you discuss future plans for your relationship or how you currently feel, this is the ideal time to tell him that you love him.
During a discussion about life altering decisions. If he is thinking about moving a few hours away to care for his ailing mother or taking a job in another state, consider letting him know how you feel during your discussion surrounding his plans.
In a letter. Profess your love on paper…not in a text or an email…a letter. Letters are romantic and carry a little more weight than a text or email that can simply be deleted.
